READ: Genesis 2:18-22, Hebrews 10:25, Romans 12:15-16

It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him, {Genesis 2:18}.

What would you think… if I told you that friendship is the very purpose for which we were created? Does it seem important enough? Is being a “friend” really something to have our identity wrapped up in? Let alone, our very reason for existence?

Actually, I believe it is. Here’s why…

We know that God made the world and everything in it. He made people in His image so that we could have relationship with Him. He made Adam and placed him in the garden “to work it and take care of it,” {Genesis 2:15}.

And as God and Adam were dwelling in this perfect garden, God saw that the picture was not complete. He said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him,” {Genesis 2:18}. Adam had it all, except one thing. He didn’t have a companion, a helper, a friend. I know that in our feministic culture today, it is not well-received to hear that women were created to be “helpers.” But let’s stop for a minute and discover what that word actually means.

The word used in Genesis 2:18 for “helper” is the Hebrew word “ עֵזֶר ,- ezer.” It means, “an aid or help.” Pretty self-explanatory and basic.

Actually, the word is more of a compliment than we think. If you were to look to see where else this Hebrew word ezer is used throughout scripture, and who it is used to describe, you’d be pretty surprised. It isn’t used to describe slaves or servants. It isn’t used to describe teachers or priests. It is used to describe God himself.

“Blessed are you, Israel! Who is like you, a people saved by the Lord? He is your shield and ezer and your glorious sword..” {Deuteronomy 33:29}

“We wait in hope for the Lord; he is our ezer” {Psalm 33:20}

“My ezer comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth” {Psalm 121:2}

God made Eve to be Adam’s helper, because it was not good for him to be alone.

A woman was the first friend God ever made. And he made her as a reflection of Him. #friendshipstudy Click To Tweet

Still today, it is not good for people to be alone. So God can send us, as helpers who reveal Him, to be friends to the lonely.

This “helper” who serves as an aid is not a marginalized member of society. She is not an afterthought. She carries the title of God himself…a rescuer…a defender…a source of strength, hope, and love. That is what we were made for, and that is what being a friend is all about.

Ezer was the title God gave himself when He was going into battle for His people. It is also how He describes Himself as one who delivers the poor and needy {Psalm 70:5}.   I think this can teach us a lot about what it means to fulfill our calling as ezers and being true friends.

  • True friends are physically present. Adam had God to talk to before there was Eve…but that evidently was not “suitable” He needed a partner, a companion. I always say that the currency of love = time. Not just texting. Be intentional about how you spend time with the friends God has given you.
  • True friends are influencers. God intends us to use the power of our influence to draw our friends closer to Him. Eve may have missed the mark on this a little; her moral failure was passed on to her friend, and it led to the demise of them both (and, you know, all of humanity). So big lesson here…(gulp)…helpers are influencers. Be a thermostat, not a thermometer…set the standard for godliness, honesty, respect, and humility. Refuse to participate in gossip and slander. Be the kind of friend you want to have. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, {Hebrews 10:25}.
  • True friends are obedient to being sent. Eve didn’t choose Adam. God sent her to him. Be willing to be sent to someone who might not fit your typical friend profile. Look for those who need love, serve the poor, and be willing to go outside of your comfort zone. Jesus was this kind of friend so that we would see what it looks like.
    Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited, {Romans 12:15-16}.

The most important thing in our lives is our relationships. Let’s love like Jesus loves and help the ones to whom He sends us!

Believe it! Trust it! Live it!REFLECT:
  • How can you “be present” with a friend this week? Maybe bake and put a bow on something yummy, make a Starbucks delivery, or surprise someone with a festive fall candle!
  • Are you careful about the influence you are on your friends? Reflect on where you could grow in your character and integrity as a representative of Christ.
  • Ask God to send you to be a helper to someone in need. Look for an opportunity to reach out to someone who seems lonely, sad, or stressed. Take time to listen and even pray with them. Share with us how it felt to be a friend to a stranger!

God of heaven, we thank you for being our Ezer. Thank you for showing us how to be a true friend. Help us as we strive to help others. Please use us out of our comfort zones to show kindness and love to those we are already in relationship with and also send us to the lonely who need a friend. May others see you because of the kind of friends we are. Amen.

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Elizabeth Oschwald
Elizabeth Oschwald
I’m Elizabeth, wife to an industrious, handsome fixer-upper {I mean…he fixes things, not he needs to be fixed} and Mom/Stepmom {a.k.a. Imma} to 6 amazing kids. I homeschool the ones I hatched myself, and we live on our family farm in central Illinois. I love to write about our real-life experiences, how Jesus is in everything, and how God can redeem even the biggest messes in the most beautiful, unexpected (and very Brady) ways. You can read more about my crazy crew at!


  1. Tracey says:

    I needed this. I lost my daughter 3 years ago and in all that time I’ve become a hermit, a recluse. I’m just now beginning to come out of the deep, dark pit of despair. I have no close friends and am so extremely lonely, for a friend. Lord, please send people into my life to create friendships with

  2. BethAnn says:

    Thank you Elizabeth, for today’s post!! I love all the examples of when the word “Helper – Ezer” was used in the bible to describe God and how it relates to His character. I’ve been really challenged by this post to look at my role as a friend {a “helper”} to the people in my life and how might I be able to display more of God’s character in my relationships more often. xoxo ~ Elizabeth!

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